Fuck You Barry Bonds. Fuck You and Your “Flaxseed Oil”

Well, here is my Bonds reaction. I took a while because I felt like I had a dick in my mouth and I knew what it was, I just pretended it was a lollipop because I didn’t want to deal with it until I got hit in the eye with a money shot.

Fuck You Barry Bonds. Fuck You and Your “Flaxseed Oil”

You’re ruining the game you arrogant, selfish, disgusting piece of shit.

How could you piss all over the game that gave you unimaginable wealth? A game that your father and godfather loved so much. You’re a fucking disgrace. Just kill yourself. Or better yet, give back all your records and all your money and bow out of the game. You're banished, exiled.

“But I didn’t know what it was.” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GODDAMN LIAR. Are you really so conceded and delusional or do you just think the fans are that stupid and gullible? Just for the sake of argument I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Let’s pretend you didn’t know. If I’m to believe what you said, you were using an “unknown substance” supplied by a man who “lives in his car half the time.” Those are your words. Your livelihood is directly tied to the health and condition of your body. But you want me to believe that you took a substance with which you were unfamiliar? Given to you by a man who was half homeless? Fuck you.

Again though, let’s imagine that you were ignorant of the contents of the hobo’s supplements. Wouldn’t you have stopped to ask a few questions When your voice changed? When your head grew two sizes? How about when you general appearance changed and you blew up to Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man proportions? Shouldn’t you have stopped and said “Hey medicine man/boxcar Willy, what this shit you’re giving me? No? Didn’t ask? Oh that’s right. Could it be because YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING? You filthy conniving bastard. Close your mouth and stop the diarrhea that’s spewing from it.

I guess in the end though it doesn’t matter what he knew. Ignorance is not a mitigating defense. The bottom line is he took substance A. Substance A has been shown to be steroids, thus Barry Bonds took steroids. It’s as simple as that.

BONDS TOOK STERIODS. We’re moving on.

People who say thing like “Steroids don’t help you hit the ball” and “You still have to be able to play baseball” are as retarded as their arguments. If you couldn’t hit a ball or play the game you wouldn’t be in the Majors in the first place. Steroids help you recover faster which is extremely important when you are in direct competition whit people who are 15 years younger. It also helps build muscle so you can hit the ball further. Peter Gammons had this to say:

The most astounding number to come out of the Barry Bonds steroid controversy is not that 93 percent of the 40,000-plus voters on a SI.com poll don't believe Bonds' claim that he was unaware he took steroids. The more intriguing number comes from Stats Inc., which reports that Bonds had never hit a home run longer than 450 feet before the 2000 season, when he turned 36. Since then, he's hit at least 21 homers of 450 feet or farther.

No one can deny that steroids work, and work well. If they didn’t no one would take them. The downside is far too severe to risk if they weren’t extremely effective.

Bonds took steroids. By doing so he gained an unfair advantage and bolstered his numbers. So what should be done? Simple. Give him the Pete Rose Treatment. Lifetime ban. His records are expunged, he is never allowed on a field ever again, and he will not be considered for the Hall of Fame. I would also like every one of his 7 MVP awards to be taken and given to the player who finished second in voting behind Bonds. Being tarred and feathered and deported wouldn’t out of the question either.

Unfortunately what should and what will happen are two very different things. So what will happen? Nothing. I would be amazed if he even gets an asterisk next to his name in the record books.

Now all I can do is watch him hit home runs a pray that he drops dead immediately following number 713. I don’t want the most sacred record in baseball is owned by a cheater. I don’t even want him in the same discussion as Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron. I don’t want him anywhere near the game I love so much.

Nut up Selig. this mess is at least half your fault. Put on those gloves and clean up this excrement.